My first Christmas as a "Stay-at-Home adult"
As a younger woman (before marriage and kids) I used to cringe at the thought of getting household items and cleaning supplies for Christmas. I thought "how trite and sad to get items that reflect what you DO rather than who you ARE". I assumed that the women that acted happy to get such gifts as irons, vacuums, soaps, pots and pans, etc. must be one of two things; devoid of any intellect and must be totally self loathing, or they are feigning joy in a joyless life.
Wow was I wrong. I could not have been more 20-something-femme-drama. I thought being a feminist then meant to fight against instincts to clean and care about one's appearance. To argue, to persuade, and to be just as "dominant" as a man. To show the world how smart and capable I am by turning down my nose to the "chores" of a "common housewife"...after all, it isn't the 50s! I subscribed to the idea that the kind of equality I wanted meant "exactly the same". When what I really NEEDED was fairness.
Dear.Lord.I.was.WRONG. I have never been happier in my adult life than I am as a stay at home wife/mom. It give me peace and purpose to cook and clean and care for my little ones. It makes me thankful for my husband in a way I never was before. It makes me feel calmer, less anxious - less depressed and more joyful. I get better sleep, I have lost weight, I have more energy, and get more time with my children, which they needed more than I realized when I was working 60 hours a week.
But I am busy, almost all the time. if you read the previous post I had my 7 year old do *most* of the chores I do on a regular basis and the list was lengthy. I am at every one's beck and call. I am a maid, a nurse, a chef, a friend, a love, a dictator, a peace maker, and a 32 year old woman with my own ideas, wants and needs.
But, I love it. All of it. The ease with which my husband can come home after a long day at the hospital, the joy and seer temperament of my little girls when they wake in the morning and come into my room asking for breakfast, and the sense of accomplishment that comes from having a home that is immaculate.
The result is that this year my husband got me a vacuum for Christmas, and I am thrilled. The 20-something me thought spending time researching reviews and "specs" on a vacuum and spending more than $40 was inane. The me of middle adulthood thinks it is the only way to ensure a "good deal" and that spending less than $100 is questionable. So, I have very different priorities than I did, and a much more developed world-view now than I did then - one thing that hasn't changed is my love of the giving and getting of the holiday season!
Wow was I wrong. I could not have been more 20-something-femme-drama. I thought being a feminist then meant to fight against instincts to clean and care about one's appearance. To argue, to persuade, and to be just as "dominant" as a man. To show the world how smart and capable I am by turning down my nose to the "chores" of a "common housewife"...after all, it isn't the 50s! I subscribed to the idea that the kind of equality I wanted meant "exactly the same". When what I really NEEDED was fairness.
Dear.Lord.I.was.WRONG. I have never been happier in my adult life than I am as a stay at home wife/mom. It give me peace and purpose to cook and clean and care for my little ones. It makes me thankful for my husband in a way I never was before. It makes me feel calmer, less anxious - less depressed and more joyful. I get better sleep, I have lost weight, I have more energy, and get more time with my children, which they needed more than I realized when I was working 60 hours a week.
But I am busy, almost all the time. if you read the previous post I had my 7 year old do *most* of the chores I do on a regular basis and the list was lengthy. I am at every one's beck and call. I am a maid, a nurse, a chef, a friend, a love, a dictator, a peace maker, and a 32 year old woman with my own ideas, wants and needs.
But, I love it. All of it. The ease with which my husband can come home after a long day at the hospital, the joy and seer temperament of my little girls when they wake in the morning and come into my room asking for breakfast, and the sense of accomplishment that comes from having a home that is immaculate.
The result is that this year my husband got me a vacuum for Christmas, and I am thrilled. The 20-something me thought spending time researching reviews and "specs" on a vacuum and spending more than $40 was inane. The me of middle adulthood thinks it is the only way to ensure a "good deal" and that spending less than $100 is questionable. So, I have very different priorities than I did, and a much more developed world-view now than I did then - one thing that hasn't changed is my love of the giving and getting of the holiday season!
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